The Chicken Lollipop Show!
by Spork Master G
Summary: It's the Chicken Lollipop Show! A weird TV show with Jhonen! Hosted by me, Noodlebooty, co-hosted by Twinkie, my sidekick. I don't know what we were smoking when we wrote it. Kidding, I know what we were smoking. THE LONG AWAITED 3rd EPISODE UPLOADED!
1. Episode 1! Twinkie genius or lunatic?

THE CHICKEN LOLLIPOP SHOW  
HOSTED BY NOODLEBOOTY, AKA JUSTINE GOMEZ  
CO-HOSTED BY TWINKIE, AKA JENNY DE AVILA  
  
KIDNAPPING PEOPLE SINCE WHO GIVES A DAMN ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
NB: Hi, I am the one, the only, host of this god foresaken show. Yes, I am great. Anywho, this is my wacky co-host, which of course we just have to have, TWINKIE!  
  
T: HI!! I need ritalin. That's what she told me, yep.  
  
NB: And that is because you do. Now, before we get to the real guest, our special, but not quite as special as the real guest, is...  
  
T: (singing to self) Chicken...I'm eating a chicken...in the bath tub.  
  
NB: AHEM. You're supposed to tell them what our crappy guest which leads up to the good guest is...REMEMBER?  
  
T: Um...OK? We're having...CHICKEN! No, I want potatoes. No, wait, wait, wait, what about Scary Monkey!! I like monkeys.  
  
NB: Oooo-kay. Well, prepare your scalps for our little lice infested friend, and, no, I don't mean Twinkie. (monkey pops outta ground)  
  
SM: (sits there and starts picking lice from his head)  
  
T: (hysterical laughter) You so crazy!!  
  
NB: Twinkie, we just received some terrible news...but, the monkey has to go. He s an extreme health hazard. I sorry. I feel the pain, we all do.  
  
T: But...but... I loved him!! We he got to go?! WHY?!?!  
  
NB: Thanks a lot, health department, he was gonna teach us how to make waffles. Sic' em, my crazed, wacky, early morning talk show sidekick!! Go, go, run, run!!  
  
T: I'm gonna' bite you!! (chases guys in white lab coats making chomping noises)  
  
NB: Oh, thank god! It's time for the real guest! Mr. Jhonen Vasquez type person!!! (Jhonen Vasquez pop outta ground holding a slurpee[tm])  
  
JV: Oh, Jeezus Christ!!! Where the hell am I?! Who are you?! And who are YOU?!! Where am I?!!  
  
NB: You're on the Chicken Lollipop Show!! Good for you!  
  
JV: I'm on the what now?  
  
NB: (hysterically) I didn't know what to call it!!! Oh, god, stop tormenting me!! NO!! Stop the verbal abuse!! I can't handle it!! My sanity is about as strong as a wet noodle on a hot sunny day!!!!  
  
JV: (worried) Please, Ms. kidnapper person, I want to LIVE. I no wanna' die! If you spare me my life I will grant you 5 wishes!! More than damn fish can grant any day!!!  
  
NB: Hmmmmm...  
  
T: NO!! Da' torturin', 'member? You promised me!! Why you gotta' lie like dat?! WHY?!?!  
  
JV: Um...why am I here?  
  
NB: It's just questions-questions with you, isn't it? Well, ya' know what? This is my show, I ask the questions, you answer, got it?! NOW, Twinkie, ask the nice man a question.  
  
T: You change your hair color thing.  
  
JV: Yeeeeah...  
  
T: Why?  
  
JV: Cuz the magical gnomes come out of my socks at night and tell that if I don't dye it, they'll kill me in my sleep.  
  
T: I knew they were real. Those same gnomy things tell me to burn things.  
  
JV: Please don't tell me you listen to the gnomes.  
  
T: OK, I'll tell you that, but it still don't make it the truth. Why do you make comic book- things? (everyone looks at her) Sometimes I'm weird, sometimes I'm...weird.  
  
JV: Cuz I think it's cool and fun and...I dunno'.  
  
T: No, it's not. You're wrong. Wrong!!  
  
NB: Why does all our real names begin with a 'J'?  
  
JV: Your name starts with a 'J'?!!  
  
NB: Yes, yes, yes, answer the god foresaken question.  
  
JV: Cuz that's what Jeezus would do.  
  
NB: That son of a beaver, he did just cuz his name starts witha 'J'!! That's it!! I'm becoming an atheist!!  
  
T: Your definition of a knuckle sandwich. Mmmm...sandwich.  
  
JV: (digging up deep childhood memories) A threat from kids who can only draw stickfigures. Cuz you don't draw the 'traditional' way. Cuz you question the god damn teachers teachins'!!! They laugh at you cuz they're all jealous...  
  
NB:(sarcastically interupting) Yeeah...jealous, of course that's it.  
  
JV: ...of the way you can draw and they can't draw a shitty piece of shit!! Well, who's laughing now? Who's laughing now?!!!  
  
NB: Well, I can't wait for the emotional trauma cycle that is hi skool now.  
  
T: Yeah...hi skool's gonna' rock.  
  
NB: Can you honestly say you are sane?  
  
JV: WHY?! Who told you I wasn't?! Was it the lady from the bus stop? I knew it!! That son of a bitch is gonna get it now!!! In the library, with a wrench and a plum...(everybody's looking a little creeped out. Relizes they are listening) Oh, was I using my outside voice?  
  
T: Why do I have to go to bed at 9:30?  
  
JV: Ya' see, it's an international conspiracy, kids' have to go to bed early. If you stay up late, this radar thing can sense your happiness and they swoop in on their stealth-fighters and plant a bug into your brain that turns your brain meats into government cheese. And THAT is exactly why people who suffer from insomnia or weird and/or goth.  
  
T: I KNEW IT!!!  
  
NB: Can I have your boot?  
  
JV: No, how will I get home?  
  
NB: Does it look like I care? I just want your boot. Well, this is the end of the Chicken Lollipop Show. This is just the introduction, in eppie 2 we actually conceive a 'PLOT'. Have a nice night and don't, I repeat don't, touch the pretty, dancing fire, no matter how tempting it may seem. Good night!!  
  
T: Please, no pictures. You never know how those internet junkies will use them. Damn them.  
  
JV: Can I pleeease go home, now?  
  
NB: No. And, nobody likes a whiner, 5 more episodes has just been added to your contract.  
  
JV: There's a contract?!  
  
THE END!!!  
A TwinkieNoo Production  
[not associated with DesiLu] 


	2. Episode 2! Jhonen VS Josh!

The Chicken Lollipop Show episode II  
  
NB: Hello, I'm Justine and this is the Chicken Lollipop Show Part 2!  
  
T: New and improved! And more monkeys. Yep.  
  
NB: Um..yeah, whatever. Let's have Jhonen come back, I got lots more stupid questions to ask. Jhonen, get over here! (Jhonen pops outta ground)  
  
T: (to Jhonen) You want a Chicken Lollipop?  
  
JV: You know what; no.  
  
NB: Sooo, how's John Tesh?  
  
JV: What?! You're not supposed to know about that!! That's me secret! Me SECRET!!  
  
T: Yeah, yeah, whatever. So who's GIR's brother?  
  
JV: Um,GIR's a robot...and a cartoon.  
  
T: That still doesn't answer my question!!!!!!! I sob like crying weasil baby!!  
  
NB: (to Jhonen) Have you ever been to the ghetto? (monkey's start yelling)  
  
JV: No, but I've been to LA. The memory of the ants still haunt me.  
  
NB: The LA & the ghetto are the same. 'Cept LA gots' cockaroaches that do the macarena. It is scary. (Locked Jhonen in cage and made the monkeys' watch him. NB went to cage and started rattling it)  
  
T: Since Noodlebooty's in her own little world right now, we're going to introduce 2 'special' guests, Justine Moreno and Brenda Rodriguez. Wiggle your antennae for them! I always wanted to say that. (they pop outta ground)  
  
B: Wow, he really is cute.  
  
JM: Why's he in the cage; and...and...why, where; Johnny?!!  
  
T: Because we don't want them to run away...again. The police already have 3 strikes on us.  
  
NB: I have another good idea; let's have a fight to the death!! Jhonen V. vs. Josh Hartnett.  
  
T: NO!! it shall ruin Joshie-washie's pretty face!! He is strictly made for looks' not play!  
  
JV: (worried) What? What fight? Who is fighting? Am I fighting? Tell me!! Do you know how much I will die?! I will die lots!!!  
  
NB: Does it look like we care? We want to see some blood. I'm having withdrawls since there has been an absence of dark humor.  
  
JH: (pops outta ground) Where am I? Who are you?!  
  
T: (screams) Jhonen Vasquez, part 1!!  
  
NB: Let the fight begin!!  
  
B: (spots monkeys) Oh, my god!! There are monkeys!!  
  
T: Noooooooooooo!!!!! His pretty face shall be DAMAGED!!  
  
NB: I don't care cuz Jhonen's going to win. I know this cuz I created it. Yep.  
  
T: OK, Jhonen wins and Josh don't get damaged I happy!  
  
JH: (whispering to Jhonen) They're all insane.  
  
NB & T: I know!  
  
NB: Of course we are. We just took two celebrity type people hostage, that qualifies under insane.  
  
JV: I have a question for you. Why am I on the show...AGAIN? That's just going to confuse...  
  
NB: Ssshhhh! This is our show, DUH!  
  
T: (to Josh Hartnett) You could stay with me.  
  
JH: (scared) But...but...Oh, god, no!! I am scared, I wanna go home!!!  
  
NB: No, we need to have the fight. No more distractions.  
  
T: I gos' to go potty. My bladder will burst and pee will be everywhere!! It will disturb even Jhonen Vasquez. He will be in a state of shock and never do comics again!  
  
NB: Damn it, Twinkie!!  
  
T: You said my name and the 'D' word in the same sentence. You're mean!!  
  
NB: And what're you goin' to do about it? poor, Twinkie! Your precious little monkeys won't protect you now!!  
  
T: Oh, yeah, you wanna' fight?!  
  
JH: (choking noises in backround) It looks like we got our fight after all.  
  
JV: It truely is a happy ending!  
  
THE END  
(Though not really)  
  
NB & T: (pop outta' ground)  
  
NB: Wait! You still hafta' fight! You ain't getting out of it that easy.  
  
T: Wait, let me think about this a second. You know that I don't want Josh to fight, but you're making him fight, but you know that I know that I won't let Josh fight so I'll forfeit, so in your evil, twisted mind that's all twisty, you had this planned out. And since Jhonen has a small frail body...  
  
JV: Hey, that's not nice.  
  
T: Whatever, if Jhonen beats a celebrity man he'll look even gooder...  
  
NB: (frustrated) It's better, bet-ter.  
  
T: (sadly) In all the years I've known you, you never sank this low.  
  
NB: Awww, why you cryin' chockit' bunny?  
  
JV: *GASP* You stole that from George Lopez!!  
  
NB: I also stole George Lopez, bot that's beside the point.  
  
B: (to T) Wanna reinact Star Wars?  
  
T: OK.  
  
LATER  
  
Jhonen Vasquez - in the crazy house for boys cuz of Noodlebooty and Twinkie trauma.  
  
Josh Hartnett - never looked at twinkies and noodles the same way again.  
  
Monkeys - fallen in love with Brenda  
  
Twinkie - put restraining order on Noodlebooty.  
  
Noodlebooty - hired asassin.  
  
Brenda - knows the monkeys want her.  
  
Justine Moreno - tries to stalk comic character Johnny.(it is sad really)  
  
THE END!!!  
A TwinkieNoo Production  
[not associated with DesiLu] 


	3. Episode 3! Monkey Raped

THE CHICKEN LOLLIPOP SHOW!!  
  
Hosted by : Noodlebooty  
Co-Hosted by : Twinkie  
  
Disclamior : All people portraid in this peice of fiction have not agreed  
to be. They had no say, participation or knowledge of this. All  
personalities are dramatized, and imitated.  
  
Poorly.  
  
Disclaimor - the Sequal : Do I really need one? Jhonen owns himself ... for  
now ... And "Jacket Dude" is a little bastard who will soon learn his  
lesson.  
  
The Chicken Lollipop Show  
- Return of the Noodle -  
  
**Noodlebooty comes sliding out on to set, "Risky Business" style. At the end, she slips and falls on her ass. Twinkie, however, slides out same way,  
but gracefully stops, not falling down.**  
  
NB : *mutters* ... stupid, creamfilled co-host ...  
  
TW : Hi.  
  
NB : OK, I have no more patience, Jhony (yes, I said JHONY) GET YOUR ASS  
OUT HERE!!!  
  
**Jhonen pops outta the ground, but due to thee fact that we suddenly have  
carpet, he gets stuck. All we see is a bump**  
  
JV : HEY!! Where am I? ... AGHHH!!!! THE SPIDERS ARE EATING MY SOCKS!!!  
DEAR GOD WHY?! WHY - EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!?!?!?!  
  
NB : LE GASP!  
  
**Noodlebooty dives torwards the carpeted Jhonen and hugs the carpet bump  
-jhonen, squeezing all, if any, of the air he had under there**  
  
TW : Justine ...  
  
NB : NOT NOW!!!  
  
TW : BUT-- (Hmm ... this somehow seems familiar ...)  
  
NB : CAN YOU NOT SEE JHONEN VASQUEZ'S LIFE IS IN DANGER?!?! I have not time  
for your nonsense!!  
  
TW : GASP! Nonsense?!  
  
**Noodlebooty has resorted to trying to bite thru the carpet**  
  
JV : OWW! THAT WAS MY EAR!!!  
  
NB : Oops.  
  
TW : HEY! Now you're like that guy ... who did that stuff ... during the  
... COOL!!  
  
**Noodlebooty has finally gotten thru the carpet and is now giving Jhonen a  
suffocating hug**  
  
JV : owww ...  
  
**SUDDENLY! All punk rockers and some goths in the sudience start boo'ing and throwng stuff at stage. Noodle and Twinkie look to see what they think  
is so bad, cuz it cant be the actual show!!**  
  
TW : *makes a retarded, choke like noise*  
  
NB : oh ... my .. god ...  
  
JV : *glaring at the fact that no one is paying him any attention*  
  
NB & TW : Hey, look! We have a sudden guest appearance by one of the worlds  
most contriversial rappers! That's right, it's the one and only Slim  
FUCKIN' Shady!  
  
**the few members of the audience that actually DO like him, faint  
dramatically at his hotness. FAINT I SAY!!**  
  
TW : Hey, this reminds me of Scooby Doo.  
  
EM : Yo yo yo!!  
  
**Noodlebooty runs over and latches onto the rappers leg**  
  
NB : I love you.  
  
JV : *shocked* But-- but, that's what you told ME!  
  
NB : *not listening* uh-huh, sure ...  
  
JV : *glares and pokes Noodlebooty in the ribs, she does not react*  
  
EM : YO, Dat's not rite', leave ma' lil' biatch alone, ma' nizzle!  
  
TW : You DO relize your white. With bleached blonde hair.  
  
EM : Wat' yo' point, kid?  
  
NB : I ... love you ... so much ...  
  
**Twinkie gets a thoughtful expression on her face, trying to figure out  
what IS her point**  
  
JV : *annoyed at the fact that Noodlebooty is glomping Slim instead of him.  
awww ...*  
  
JV : OK - you know what - *to EM* I hate you, you die now.  
  
NB : *shocked* WHAT MADNESS DO YOU SPEAK?! I BANISH YOU TO THE CLOSET!!!  
  
JV : *scared* Not the closet!!  
  
NB : GO THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE SAID!!!!  
  
JV : What's WRONG with you?? YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME, NOW YOU DO THIS ... THAT'S NOT RIGHT!! It's like he has some kooky mind control ... OH, MY GOD,  
HE DOES!!!  
  
EM : *paranoid* Heh heh ... why you say dat', yo??? *nervous laughter*  
  
JV : *glaring*  
  
NB : *still hugging his leg*  
  
JV : LOOK! A KID IN A SPARKLY JACKET!!!  
  
NB : *let's go* OH, MY GOD!! WHERE?!  
  
**While Noodlebooty's looking away, Jhony pushes Em off a mysterious cliff  
that's suddenly appeared**  
  
NB : HEY - I see no sparky jacket ... O_O  
  
TW : I like squirrels.  
  
NB : *see's Jhonen* Awww ... He looks sad! I MAKE IT BETTER!! *hugs the  
Almighty Tallest's leg*  
  
TW : Now you see, Obi Wan ... All is right with the world ...  
  
**Kid in sparkly jacket (JD - jacket dude) pops up behind Twinkie*  
  
JD : You said it ...  
  
TW : O_O  
  
JD : *pokes Twinkie*  
  
TW : _O ... JUSTEEEENY!!!  
  
NB : *not looking away from the latching of Jhonen's leg* ... whaaaaat  
...???  
  
TW : He's ... here ...  
  
NB : Who's here?  
  
TW : The jacketed one ...  
  
NB : ... no ...  
  
TW : HE'S HERE AND SPARKLY NONE THE LESS!!!  
  
JD : Hello, I'm right here.  
  
TW : I think he knows we're talking about him .  
  
NB : Just don't make eye contact.  
  
JD : *looks at Noodlebooty* ... HEY - you're that girl.  
  
NB : *glares*  
  
JD : heh, Jose called you a stripper ... (GASP! He did!! [no really. he did  
in real life, the bastard ...] )  
  
NB : O___!!!  
  
**Nik, Brenda, Jose, Guada, girl and Vanessa pop up**  
  
NK : *see's Jacket Dude* SPARKLE SPARKLE ^_^ !!!  
  
BR : ... Oh, my god, He's even in THIS world!! WHY ARE YOU EVERYWHERE?!  
WHY, GOD DAMN IT?! YOU SON OF A BITCH!! *collapeses on floor with sobs*  
  
**Jose = JS ; Guada = GD ; Other Girl = OG ; Vanessa = VA**  
  
JS : WHERE THE HELL AM I?!  
  
OG : Hey ... you're that girl ... Jessica?  
  
NB : O_ No, no ... Justine. Just - EEEN.  
  
OG : Oh.  
  
GD : WHAT IN THE NAME OF RANCID IS GOING ON?!  
  
VA : Hey, guys. I didn't know you had your own show.  
  
JS : Why the hell are you so calm!?  
  
VA : *annoyed* Cuz they actually say hi to me now.  
  
**backround info : Jose & Vanessa were best friends. Middle school began  
and they don't even say hi anymore. Very scary. But I say hi and go "wassup, home girlie?", scaring her.I blame Jacket Dude ... the bastard**  
  
JD : Uh, yeah ... who are you??  
  
NB & TW & BR & NK & JS & GD & JV : Vanessa.  
  
JD : Oh.  
  
JV : Crap weasil.  
  
JD : * to Jhonen * You kinda scare me ... who you be?  
  
JV : *shocked* You mean to say you don't know woh the almighty tallest, thinnest is??? You don't know who the Magnificent JV is?? You don't know  
who GOD is, dear boy???  
  
JD : Umm ...  
  
JV : YOU MEAN TO SAY, YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I , GOD, AM?!  
  
JD : But -  
  
JV : IS SUCH A THING EVEN POSSIBLE?!?!  
  
JD : I -  
  
JV : QUIET YOU!!!  
  
JD : O_O  
  
NB : *smirking* heh heh heh ...  
  
JS : Are you gonna kill us?  
  
TW : No, we are merely going to feed your spleens to the monkeys.  
  
GD : *relieved* Oh, well, that's good ... Hey - What the hell's a spleen??  
  
VA : Vital, dumbass.  
  
GD : Oh ... then that's not good.  
  
OG : No, shit.  
  
NB : You know what ... GIRL, you annoy me. You die first.  
  
**monkey cage pops out of the ground**  
  
TW : THe monkeys are ready, mother.  
  
BR : Betch, you just call me yo' momma??  
  
TW : ... yes.  
  
NK : Can I pet the monkey? They so purty.  
  
NB : No.  
  
NK : *sadly* OK ...  
  
OG : So - are you really gonna - *is thrown into monkey pit*  
  
OG : OH GOD NOOOOOO!!! THE PAIN IS VERY HURTY!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! WHY  
ARE THE MONKEYS GRABBING MY ASS?!?! WHY?!?!?!  
  
NB : heh heh heh ...  
  
GD : O_O  
  
JS : O_O  
  
JD : O_O  
  
VA : ^_^  
  
NK : ^_^  
  
BR : ^o^ ( -- sleepy face)  
  
TW : (}[O.o]{) (--- monkey face)  
  
NB : Now ... for da' rest of ya' ...  
  
BR : I wanna see "Charlie" die first.  
  
GD : What did you just call me?  
  
NB : That's what that ... GIRL was calling you. "Charlie".  
  
NK : *laughing histerically* CHARLIE?!?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
GD : Why are you laughing?  
  
NK : Cuz you're very very stupid, GuadaLUPE.  
  
GD: O_O  
  
JD : Guada lupe?  
  
GD : GOD DAMN YOU!!! KEEP IT DOWN, YOU STU- *is thrown into monkey pit*  
  
JV : There should be more me.  
  
NB : Then next episode we'll put you in a cloning machne, kay?  
  
JV : ^_^ Ok.  
  
GD : OH GOD!!! MY ASSSSSSS!!!! THEY MONKEYS ARE GAY!!! WHY ARE THEY GAY?!?!  
OH GOD MY ASSSSSSS!!!!!!  
  
JS : O_O  
  
JD : *strangly aroused* (hahaha ... )  
  
JV : *to Jacket Dude* O.o - why are you looking at me like that??  
  
JD : I - uh ... The monkeys?  
  
JV : *thoughtfully* Yes ... the monkeys ...  
  
TW : Joseeee ...  
  
JS : *scared* what ..?  
  
TW : CAn I touch your hair??  
  
**bacround info : his hair is spiky. we like to smash it and hear the  
crunchy noise**  
  
JS : NO!! NOT MY HAIR!! MY HAIR!!!!  
  
TW : *creepy squee eyes* Pleeeeeeease ...??  
  
JS : Why should I?! You're gonna let me get monkey raped!! THey're gonna  
stick their monkey thingies up my ASS!!!  
  
TW : I won't throw you into the pit.  
  
JS : A'ight. Go ahead.  
  
TW : ^_^ *she pushes on hs hair, harder than he thought and went falling to  
the floor*  
  
JS : Damn you.  
  
NB : WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?! YOU DARE USE MY WORD!?!  
  
NK : That's it, off to the closet with ye!!!  
  
JS : BUT-  
  
NB : AND JACKET DUDE, TOO!!!  
  
JD : WHY-  
  
BR : GASP! Then they'll be forced to spawn and they'll have little jacketed  
babies!!  
  
TW : Aww, how cute!  
  
JS & JD : O_O  
  
JV : That's very creepy.  
  
The End.  
  
A TwinkieNoo Production  
[not associated with DesiLu] 


End file.
